Understanding Body Language
This is actions, sounds and behaviors that express the feelings and emotions of a living being.
Research tells us that communication is divided into three areas.
1. Body language - 55%
2. Tone of voice - 38%
3. What we say - 7%
If this is true then when we learn to interpret what the body language is saying then we will know at least 55% of what the person is trying to tell us. When it pertains to a baby, what we have to do is realize we only have two lines of communication because they cannot express through words what they are feeling. Once you realize how important body language is and that it truly is telling you something, then to assume that your baby is fussy for no reason, doesn't really make much sense.
What I have learned from experience treating over 1000 babies is that if a baby is crying, there has to be a reason. I believe there are two main reasons an infant or baby will cry.
1. The baby has some physical discomfort whether it is pain or just an uncomfortable feeling like lying too long in one place or it may have a headache, it may have a fever and is just achy all over. It may have a sinus infection; it may be just the sensation of moving its bowels. There could be many reasons however, if any of these occur the body language will tell us 2 things.
a. where the pain or discomfort is
b. how bad it is
If there is pain, it will cause the baby generally to move. We must watch closely what is moving and then watch to see if the motion is fast or slow. If the pain or discomfort is mild the motion will be slow. If the movement is fast and much more aggressive then you must understand the level is much greater. If the pain is mild you will normally see the baby's eye somewhat open or completely open. if the pain is more severe than the eyes will be squinted or most cases tightly closed. If the pain is severe you will see the face round and red. You will usually see increased heart rate and increased respiration. Your baby will be breathing faster and much more forcefully with more forceful inhalations and exhalations.
My experience is that babies are just not fussy. Babies only cry if they are hurting or hungry. If a baby is tired and wants to sleep it gives the appearance of fighting sleep. My opinion is this still an uncomfortable feeling. Question - Have you ever been so tired that you wanted to sleep so badly but for some reason you just couldn't go to sleep? If you think about it even just a minute you will realize that severe fatigue feeling was also an uncomfortable feeling.
2. The 2nd reason a baby will cry is if they are hungry. Is hunger pain discomfort? Of course it is. If you don't think so then try going without eating for even 24 hours. Question - How would you act if you were hungry? If you couldn't speak words how would you let someone know you were hungry? You would probably bend over and flex the torso. You would probably groan or make noises and the noises would be in proportion to how hungry you were.
When a baby is hungry it will do very similar body language. The motions will be more in the upper torso, arms and head. The legs will not kick as fast or as hard as there will if there is a lot of pressure in the intestine with excessive gas or flatulence. So if you see full body with excessive kicking, if the legs, whole body, torso, arms, arching back, scratching face, pulling ears and hair with a hard abdomen , it is pain. If the baby is hungry, the motion is more upper body, arms will be moving but not as stiff and severe as you would see with abdomen pain. The back will not arch as much; the head will not go back as with abdominal pain. There won't be scratching at their face and ears and they won't be pulling their hair. Always realize the more intense the hunger the more body language you will see.
The second form of communication is tone of voice. Remember we said this is 38% of the babies communication. There are two distinct cries: one is for pain, the other is for hunger. If the baby is in pain the cry is a distinct pattern of highs and lows. Imagine if you had a severe pain and you would scream out and the volume of the scream is would also change according to how often you felt the surge of pain. If the pain comes and goes, then you would have an appearance of the teeth on a saw blade. If the pain was very severe and didn't seem to let up, then you would hear a long loud scream and they would appear as if they weren't breathing. This is a scary time for the parent and what I usually see or hear the parent say is they blow into the face of the baby trying to get it to take a breath. I don't know if this is helpful or hurtful, one thing for certain is that when the baby runs out of oxygen it will take another breath. I had one mother and grandmother say they started CPR on the baby because they thought it had stopped breathing.
How important is it to learn body language, and tone of voice? It is extremely important because you will not only be able to help your baby more by understanding its needs but also so you don't do any harm. There are times when your baby is hurting and also hungry. This makes it more difficult to read the body language and determine the tone of voice cry because there are 2 reasons for the body language and 2 different types of crying.
One way you can determine this would be to try to feed the baby. If the baby is only hungry, it will latch on, suck and usually stay latched on until they become satisfied. If you attempt to feed the baby and it latches on fast, sucks real fast but can't stay latched on then you know the crying is due more to pain than hunger. This is where the body language of root and suck comes from. If the baby is breast fed the baby will root against the mother very aggressively and such very fast and hard and keep pulling the bottle away and then right back on. The cry will be loud and the pitch and volume both increase. If it is a bottle fed baby it will act very similar, it just won't keep the nipple in the mouth because the pain is too severe and out measures the hungry feeling. If the baby is more hungry than painful, they you will see the baby latch on and suck hard and fast until it begins to get satisfied. What actually is happening to make the baby satisfied? Is it how much milk is in the stomach? I don 't think so. It has to be about the blood sugar levels.
Appetite is controlled by blood sugar levels. Think about how you feed when you know your blood sugar is dropping. Several symptoms can occur.
1. You begin to get fussy or irritable.
2. You start feeling a sensation in the stomach and the intestine. Have you ever experienced your stomach growling?
3. Your emotions begin to change. You feel more anxious. You now begin to focus more on eating and less on what you are doing or saying.
4. Your tone of voice can change.
5. You may get a weak or sick feeling in your gut.
6. You start noticing cravings, many times the hungrier you get, the more you begin to crave foods high in sugar and fat.
Your baby does through all of these same symptoms. Now think about how you feel when you see food. Do you become more anxious? Do you become more aggressive? What happens when you finally get some food?
1. You stuff your mouth full, chew faster, swallow faster and usually eat more than if you had eaten earlier. Don't they say it is better for us eat six healthy smaller meals than 3 full large meals? The same is true for babies. Why is it that blood sugar always goes up and down? It is not only caused by the type of foods we eat, but also by the amounts. It is also affected by everything else that is going on in our bodies. We have more than just the pancreas producing the hormone insulin to help regulate our blood sugar. You also have other hormone producers such as the thyroid, adrenals, sexual hormones that are consistently in flux, not only in the baby but if the baby is breast fed then the mother's hormones are also affecting the baby.
Think about what happens when the blood sugar goes too low. We usually eat too fast, too much, and don't stop in time for the blood sugar to level off. So what happens then in the case of the baby, being satisfied with how much you eat isn't regulated by the volume. It is regulated by the blood sugar. If the baby eats so much that the stomach is so full of milk and if there is a lot of pressure against the stomach from the bloating of the large and small intestine then this pressure will cause pain which causes crying. They may not burp very well and eventually you will see projectile vomiting. Parents wonder why the baby keeps spitting up after it has done projectile vomiting. The answer is there is just too much milk in the tank (stomach).
The key to stop projectile vomiting and continued spit up is:
1. Relieving the pressure in the intestine
2. Feeding the baby only when it is hungry
3. Stop feeding when the baby slows down
4.Burp the baby regularly
5. Give the baby a pacifier and it will go to sleep
6. Don't put the baby on a regular feeding schedule like 3 ounces every 3 hours - listen to the baby's body language and tone of voice.
7. Be aware of the previous feeding with amount or time or both. We don't always get hungry at the same time or rate. Hormones will regularly affect our blood sugar so it will vary in how much it eats and how long it takes. Don't expect the baby to eat the same all the time. As a side note, later in this website we will be discussing the methods of feeding. Breast fed and bottle fed and formula.
Research tells us that communication is divided into three areas.
1. Body language - 55%
2. Tone of voice - 38%
3. What we say - 7%
If this is true then when we learn to interpret what the body language is saying then we will know at least 55% of what the person is trying to tell us. When it pertains to a baby, what we have to do is realize we only have two lines of communication because they cannot express through words what they are feeling. Once you realize how important body language is and that it truly is telling you something, then to assume that your baby is fussy for no reason, doesn't really make much sense.
What I have learned from experience treating over 1000 babies is that if a baby is crying, there has to be a reason. I believe there are two main reasons an infant or baby will cry.
1. The baby has some physical discomfort whether it is pain or just an uncomfortable feeling like lying too long in one place or it may have a headache, it may have a fever and is just achy all over. It may have a sinus infection; it may be just the sensation of moving its bowels. There could be many reasons however, if any of these occur the body language will tell us 2 things.
a. where the pain or discomfort is
b. how bad it is
If there is pain, it will cause the baby generally to move. We must watch closely what is moving and then watch to see if the motion is fast or slow. If the pain or discomfort is mild the motion will be slow. If the movement is fast and much more aggressive then you must understand the level is much greater. If the pain is mild you will normally see the baby's eye somewhat open or completely open. if the pain is more severe than the eyes will be squinted or most cases tightly closed. If the pain is severe you will see the face round and red. You will usually see increased heart rate and increased respiration. Your baby will be breathing faster and much more forcefully with more forceful inhalations and exhalations.
My experience is that babies are just not fussy. Babies only cry if they are hurting or hungry. If a baby is tired and wants to sleep it gives the appearance of fighting sleep. My opinion is this still an uncomfortable feeling. Question - Have you ever been so tired that you wanted to sleep so badly but for some reason you just couldn't go to sleep? If you think about it even just a minute you will realize that severe fatigue feeling was also an uncomfortable feeling.
2. The 2nd reason a baby will cry is if they are hungry. Is hunger pain discomfort? Of course it is. If you don't think so then try going without eating for even 24 hours. Question - How would you act if you were hungry? If you couldn't speak words how would you let someone know you were hungry? You would probably bend over and flex the torso. You would probably groan or make noises and the noises would be in proportion to how hungry you were.
When a baby is hungry it will do very similar body language. The motions will be more in the upper torso, arms and head. The legs will not kick as fast or as hard as there will if there is a lot of pressure in the intestine with excessive gas or flatulence. So if you see full body with excessive kicking, if the legs, whole body, torso, arms, arching back, scratching face, pulling ears and hair with a hard abdomen , it is pain. If the baby is hungry, the motion is more upper body, arms will be moving but not as stiff and severe as you would see with abdomen pain. The back will not arch as much; the head will not go back as with abdominal pain. There won't be scratching at their face and ears and they won't be pulling their hair. Always realize the more intense the hunger the more body language you will see.
The second form of communication is tone of voice. Remember we said this is 38% of the babies communication. There are two distinct cries: one is for pain, the other is for hunger. If the baby is in pain the cry is a distinct pattern of highs and lows. Imagine if you had a severe pain and you would scream out and the volume of the scream is would also change according to how often you felt the surge of pain. If the pain comes and goes, then you would have an appearance of the teeth on a saw blade. If the pain was very severe and didn't seem to let up, then you would hear a long loud scream and they would appear as if they weren't breathing. This is a scary time for the parent and what I usually see or hear the parent say is they blow into the face of the baby trying to get it to take a breath. I don't know if this is helpful or hurtful, one thing for certain is that when the baby runs out of oxygen it will take another breath. I had one mother and grandmother say they started CPR on the baby because they thought it had stopped breathing.
How important is it to learn body language, and tone of voice? It is extremely important because you will not only be able to help your baby more by understanding its needs but also so you don't do any harm. There are times when your baby is hurting and also hungry. This makes it more difficult to read the body language and determine the tone of voice cry because there are 2 reasons for the body language and 2 different types of crying.
One way you can determine this would be to try to feed the baby. If the baby is only hungry, it will latch on, suck and usually stay latched on until they become satisfied. If you attempt to feed the baby and it latches on fast, sucks real fast but can't stay latched on then you know the crying is due more to pain than hunger. This is where the body language of root and suck comes from. If the baby is breast fed the baby will root against the mother very aggressively and such very fast and hard and keep pulling the bottle away and then right back on. The cry will be loud and the pitch and volume both increase. If it is a bottle fed baby it will act very similar, it just won't keep the nipple in the mouth because the pain is too severe and out measures the hungry feeling. If the baby is more hungry than painful, they you will see the baby latch on and suck hard and fast until it begins to get satisfied. What actually is happening to make the baby satisfied? Is it how much milk is in the stomach? I don 't think so. It has to be about the blood sugar levels.
Appetite is controlled by blood sugar levels. Think about how you feed when you know your blood sugar is dropping. Several symptoms can occur.
1. You begin to get fussy or irritable.
2. You start feeling a sensation in the stomach and the intestine. Have you ever experienced your stomach growling?
3. Your emotions begin to change. You feel more anxious. You now begin to focus more on eating and less on what you are doing or saying.
4. Your tone of voice can change.
5. You may get a weak or sick feeling in your gut.
6. You start noticing cravings, many times the hungrier you get, the more you begin to crave foods high in sugar and fat.
Your baby does through all of these same symptoms. Now think about how you feel when you see food. Do you become more anxious? Do you become more aggressive? What happens when you finally get some food?
1. You stuff your mouth full, chew faster, swallow faster and usually eat more than if you had eaten earlier. Don't they say it is better for us eat six healthy smaller meals than 3 full large meals? The same is true for babies. Why is it that blood sugar always goes up and down? It is not only caused by the type of foods we eat, but also by the amounts. It is also affected by everything else that is going on in our bodies. We have more than just the pancreas producing the hormone insulin to help regulate our blood sugar. You also have other hormone producers such as the thyroid, adrenals, sexual hormones that are consistently in flux, not only in the baby but if the baby is breast fed then the mother's hormones are also affecting the baby.
Think about what happens when the blood sugar goes too low. We usually eat too fast, too much, and don't stop in time for the blood sugar to level off. So what happens then in the case of the baby, being satisfied with how much you eat isn't regulated by the volume. It is regulated by the blood sugar. If the baby eats so much that the stomach is so full of milk and if there is a lot of pressure against the stomach from the bloating of the large and small intestine then this pressure will cause pain which causes crying. They may not burp very well and eventually you will see projectile vomiting. Parents wonder why the baby keeps spitting up after it has done projectile vomiting. The answer is there is just too much milk in the tank (stomach).
The key to stop projectile vomiting and continued spit up is:
1. Relieving the pressure in the intestine
2. Feeding the baby only when it is hungry
3. Stop feeding when the baby slows down
4.Burp the baby regularly
5. Give the baby a pacifier and it will go to sleep
6. Don't put the baby on a regular feeding schedule like 3 ounces every 3 hours - listen to the baby's body language and tone of voice.
7. Be aware of the previous feeding with amount or time or both. We don't always get hungry at the same time or rate. Hormones will regularly affect our blood sugar so it will vary in how much it eats and how long it takes. Don't expect the baby to eat the same all the time. As a side note, later in this website we will be discussing the methods of feeding. Breast fed and bottle fed and formula.